Well, this blog basically wrote itself for me. On January 18th, 2012 at 9:14 AM I received a text message from a number I didn’t know….in Spanish. Well, most people would ignore it, or reply back that Mr. Spanish had the wrong number, or something nice like that. Buuuuut, I am not most people >;) (Is that an evil looking winky emoticon? Cuz that’s what I was going for.)
I took Spanish in High School and College, I know a little, enough to get by when we went to Mexico for our honeymoon, enough to get by in the factory that I work, since most of the workers there speak Spanish of some sort. Hell, most of the guys who work there, and hear me speak Spanish congratulate me on speaking their language properly, but I really wouldn’t say I know enough to carry on a conversation with a random person via text message.
Anyway, Mr. Random Spanish texted me “Donde estas?” (“Where are you?” and that one I did know.)
So what does one do? Well, if one is me, one replies with a random Spanish sentence he knows, but doesn’t know why he knows: “Tengo un gato en mis pantalones.” (I have a cat in my pants)
Strangely enough, Mr. Random Spanish let that one slide. His response, exactly as he texted it, because there must have been something wrong with his phone, and I had to ask a bunch of guys around the factory before we could figure out what it was supposed to mean: “Dej? usted de conseguir y que a?n o que?” (Which we thought, basically meant, “Can I find you, yes or no?)
So as I walk around the factory thinking about how to respond, I pass the bathroom, and evidently, people who speak Spanish can’t bring any food or drink into the bathroom, because that is the sign that I copied and replied to Mr. Random Spanish with: “No alimentos ni bebidas.” (No Food or drink)
Mr. Random Spanish must have finally caught on that something was amiss, his reply: “Est? borracho?” (I knew that one too! “Are you drunk?” lol!)
Well, 95% of the time, I could usually answer yes to that question, but I was at work, and was having to much fun messing with Mr. Random Spanish to reply normally: “No leer ni segur las instrucciones de esta escalera podria resultar en lesiones o la muerte.” (Basically, I copied this off the side of a ladder: “Failure to read the instructions for this ladder could result in injury or DEATH!”)
No answer, damn, he gave up, oh well, time ticked on….10:00, 11:00, 12:00. 12:06: “Est?s ah??” (“You there?”)
Oh boy, he was back! Another sign in the factory: “Quitese todas sus joyas.” (“Take off all your jewlery.”)
Gone again, did he catch on yet? 1:00. I left the factory to run some errands. 1:23: “No estoy usando joyas, Cu?ndo volver a estar? Tengo que usar el coche.” Immediately followed up by: “Deje de joder, yo necesito el coche,.” (First one: “I’m not wearing jewlery. When are you getting back, I have to use the car.” Second one: Stop f*cking around, I need the car.”)
So he wasn’t as dumb as he looked, he knew someone was messing around. But he didn’t know me: “Mi loro se comio el pescado.” ( I didn’t know what to do, I was on the road and didn’t have any random factory signs to help me out….LIGHTBULB…Google Translate app….”My parrot ate your fish.” Yeah I don’t know where I came up with that either.)
“Quien es este?” (Who is this?” Did he think someone else had his friends phone?)
“Los payasos me estan persiguiendo.” (“The clowns are chasing me.”)
“Vete a la mierda.” (“Go to hell.”)
How rude, it wasn’t my fault he had the wrong number, and I decided I would tell him that: “No es mi culpa que tiene el numero equivocado.” (“It’s not my fault you have the wrong number.”
“Me habia equivocado de numero supone que 4008.” ( I had the wrong number, it was supposed to be 4008.)
“Que gracioso.” (“How funny!”)
Not another response, unfortunately. But boy, did that make my day! And I bet that guy triple checks his numbers the next time he tries to text someone. Or maybe he just store his contacts in his phone. I stored him, just incase I ever get another text from….Mr. Random Spanish.
mrmet17 